I never ask women out, not even if I suspect the woman might be interested (which only happens once or twice a year, if that).
Why? Because deep down I believe certain things about women, and men, and relationships. Therapists, friends, everyone tells me these beliefs are absurd, wildly exaggerated. No doubt they are. But they *feel* right, no matter how irrational they may be. So my actions are on them.
- Women prefer men who are tall, slim, handsome, muscular, well-dressed,
athletic, articulate, square-jawed, rich, extravagant, drive fancy cars,
wear expensive jewelry, quick-witted, good dancers, conversant in pop
culture, well-endowed, oozing with self-confidence, and able to read women's
- A man who lacks even one of these characteristics is second-rate in women's eyes, lacking several of them puts him out of the running. - Such men are losers, weenies, scum, etc.
- Any unsolicited asking out on a date, flirtation, hitting on etc. is sexual harassment of a woman (unless it is reciprocated)
- Women despise men's stronger and more physical sexuality
- Women are vain, capricious, shallow, and disloyal
- Women manipulatively use men's stronger sexual desires to gain their own ends.
- Women seek men more for financial security than for love or intimacy
- Women consider men immature if they show emotions or weaknesses
- Women despise intellectual, quiet men
- Being rejected by a woman is a tortuous humiliation, a fate scarcely better than death. - Women have little or no sexual desires, unless their partner is very attractive physically.
- Women expect favours in return for sex (money, gifts, attention, etc.)
- Attractive women, in particular, dominate their universe, using their good looks to gain higher marks, better jobs, speedier promotions, better service in stores, etc., etc.
- Attractive women usually consider men's flirtations, advances etc. an unwelcome nuisance, except when from very attractive men.
- For women, sex is mostly about being entertained and pleased, a man who cannot "perform" will get the boot fast.
- Most women are "Rules" girls.
Most people to whom I tell these beliefs start to laugh. That doesn't stop me from continuining to take them very seriously.
alt.support.shyness, Sept. 20, 2000.