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My childhood

Overeating

Social phobia

Sexuality

Misogyny

Depression

The Twelve Steps

Treatments

All posts in chronological order

Guestbook (1997-2001)

Here is what others have said of my site.

anon - 7/20/2001 5:49:01 PM

Comments:
Very interesting site, I can relate to many of the problems listed here, I could almost have written some of this stuff.

vetteguy - 6/19/2001 12:55:01 AM

Comments:
Well, I've been there. Never had the abuse you encountered. Nevertheless, I understand depression, anxiety and the incredible pain it can cause. My "fix" came through a series of painful outings, some medication, and just the basic understanding that "it's got to get better". Somehow, it worked. I still have emotional ability, however, now I can simply stop and realize, "oh, I'm depressed"...it generally fades. Suffice to say, sometimes it takes a prozac 10mg. It does get easier with age. Ask me questions, I can only give you my own experience.......but it's 30 years of dealing with alot of what your talking about.

Al - 6/8/2001 9:11:42 PM

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I am glad you shared your feelings, I know you must have went throught a very bad time, a few which I could relate to, and hopefully they will help me with my problems too, thank you!

Mechele -

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It's nice to know that I am not alone. I often felt that I was weird or different. Your stories are an inspiration to me.

qpandora@yahoo.com -

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This is really great for people to read, although, it's not the best thing to look at if you want to get cheered up. I was doing searches on treating major depression, I can't seem to shake my sadness and loneliness. I'm "medicated" by the doctor and that doesn't seem to help.

Suffere -

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Thank you, God bless you. I am 23, thought I was abnormal, and felt sad. I didn't know the problem. Now I know peace as I know I'm not alone.

Majneb -

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This is total crap -- I had a great post and it didn't even register -- oh well.

Majneb -

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Ok -- is it just me, or does anyone else find it particularly disturbing that this guy hasn't posted any writings in like two years. Not that I'm a paranoid person, but, I mean, you have to wonder if he's OK and whatnot. So -- you still alive, man? Speak to us.

Mandy -

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center

Jason -

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Angie C. -

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Wow - I was really affected by what you had to say about your weight. My fiance weighs over 350 lbs at 5'11". It doesn't bother me at all but my parents haven't spoken to me since we got engaged (guess why?). He has told me that he has no confidence to go anywhere.

Henry -

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I would rather be lonely than miserable. I was exactly like you but now I'm married to my first and only relationship and I tell you being alone isn't so bad. In fact, I wish for my old life back. Yes, I was lonely but at least I was in control of my life.

Elaine -

Comments:
Hi, love your site. It will help others and I admire you for doing it. I am linking you to my site. If you would rather I didn't please email me boysmum2000@yahoo.com.au. Congratulations on your fine job.

Laura -

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I urge you to research 5-HTP, an over-the-counter amino acid that has fantastic results in treating depression and anxiety, even people whose depression and anxiety don't respond to other anti-depressants such as Luvox, Prozac, etc.

Bethe -

Comments:
I found your site randomly a long time ago, but remembered it well enough to be able to search for it and, surprisingly, find it again. Your words are amazing. (I have to add) I used to date this guy. He was fat, bluntly and honestly. He could have stood to lose 30 pounds or so. My friends gave me hell about dating a fat guy - no, really. When he broke up with me (yes, he had the power to do that) my friends consoled me (yes, I had to be consoled) with things like "Next time get a skinny one!" or "There are other fish in the sea - thin fish!" I quickly called them on their utter idiocy. Point is, this guy was one of the most beautiful people I've known. No, not just "on the inside." I'm talking on the outside. He was damn sexy. Thought I'd share. - Bethe liquidblaze@aol.com

Tigress -

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You are a very deep person and I would like to speak with you.

Crecia - 11/28/00 06:24:39

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Your writing is amazing, I haven't read anything that has hit so close to home in a long time. I hope that you have found peace in life. Thank you for sharing.

vastlyblu - 10/26/00 04:49:24

Comments:
Human instinct will cause people to deprive themselves of what they want the most, ironically this has a habit of being their greatest fear. So technically, you could argue that instinct takes over to protect you .......technically that is. What do I think of your site, huh...well, to you I say "Do not lose stride.....while you fear that spirit and soul have long since turned ashen....you have shown with your words they have not."

ben - 10/25/00 12:14:15

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Truly you have had a real rollercoaster life. but do you know how to keep it all ups? Let God into your life. He will make all better-you'll even be able to come off all those drugs-trust me I know, I had to be on them once too-but my personal relationship with Jesus Christ saved me, and he can save you too.

HartzMT@aol.com - 10/15/00 13:19:00

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It touched my heart.

Todd - 10/13/00 23:09:39

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Your life and mine are quite alike. I was terrified of women much like you, I thought they were "goddesses" I went through the first 32 yrs. of my life alone, sad, sexless. By age 32 I said enough and met my wife through an introduction service that a guy was running from his house. All the girls were from the Philippines, so I basically bought my wifes address for $300.00. Pathetic right? Maybe for some people but for me it has worked out great. What I come to figure out is women are NOT goddesses I used to think that too, they are very HUMAN that now I wonder how I ever thought that way and wasted YEARS of my LIFE for making something bigger than it is. I have several Philippine woman overseas who are looking for someone like you, unlike some{not all} American women, Filipinas can be a welcome change, if you're interested e-mail me at rollins167@hotmail.com.
PS.I am NOT selling anything just providing free introductions for you. Take care. Todd

bob fox - 10/10/00 20:33:17

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I think more people have to speak out about this hidden sickness. I know my friends cannot understand the pain I go through and think it's because they see no physical signs. I've heard people comment on those who have chosen to take their own lives, saying that they were cowards, never knowing the pain that that person was in. I know for me I'd rather have a sickness that could be explained and treated by a medical doctor than what I've experienced most of my life. People who have never experienced depression and have seen me in this state have almost always thought of me being weak, or looking for an easy way out. No one have ever said to me that they wish they never would awake in the morning. More often than not that seems to be my nighttime prayer. Thank you for allowing me to express my feelings. Continue on with your work, you are in my prayers

Thunder - 10/08/00 18:20:23

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Hi, I like your site and hope things are going well for you. thunder88@crosswinds.net My site.

Elizabeth - 09/12/00 14:51:31

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My father is a Bipolar manic depressant. I have gone through many things with my father and now that everything is adjusted I am glad that I have been there for him from day one!

Robert - 09/07/00 03:39:33

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Your site is very encouraging for those of us that have consitently battled with depression. I myself have been battling with this disease for over 20 years, and at some point in time considered taking my life. But then after getting undepressed with medication, I knew that I was going to get better. I am still having some problems with relapses. Does anyone have any info. on how to stay undepressed after the depression lifted without continuing to keep those medications? Please let me know at robmorales@aol.com

Nima(male) - 08/26/00 03:00:18

Comments:
Dude, I feel sorry about what's happened to you. I didn't get a chance to read everything. Your childhood was pretty messed up. I had a similar life, but not so harsh. I was kinda hoping you'd recovered. I guess I was looking for answers. Good luck to you brother.

Elsie - 07/30/00 00:51:36

Comments:
I can definitely relate to much of your childhood, though I am a woman, and much older. My mother now is dying and I have forgiven her and am her only regular visitor. I care for her and do not want her to die alone. I accept that she never really could love me in the way that I needed her to love me. It is ok. I am receiving counseling and prefer no meds (though I have tried different ones) my faith in God's love and forgiveness sees me through any bouts of depression I go through today. Just this morning, I had one of those times when the head knowledge made it to the heart, and I truly understood this one thing: I don't need to be so very grateful when the little "blessings" happen, or feel like giving up when the darkness is surrounds me. I just need to remember, and acknowledge that the love of God, is always with me and will see me through it all. That is what I am grateful for today. I am praying for you. My thoughts about your site are warm, thank you for sharing your life, because it helps me to remember. But I can remember and not feel the anger anymore. The pain, but not the anger. I pray that you will find the same peace. The peace that surpasses all understanding. I send you my love, from that which overflows from the abundance of is love given to me. Blessings, Elsie e.simonton@worldnet.att.net

Mark - 07/17/00 06:06:00

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The guy that wrote that first story in the overeating section doesn't know shit. I am in 9th and weigh 180. I mean, he has no idea what it's like to like a girl so much, then have them publicly turn you down because of your appearance.

Michael Otonga - 07/13/00 08:53:13

Comments:
This site has been a source of encouragement for me. The materials are down to earth, I mean really practical experience worth sharing with millions of people who are undergoing similar experiences.

BooBoo77Grad@aol.com - 07/06/00 17:45:23

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Just starting reading

Kristy Littleton - 07/02/00 00:58:56

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I think it is a excellent idea what you did. I have had a lot of problems the last few years with drugs, sex and drinking. It nice to know some others people can actually have problems too. I really enjoyed reading your stories. THANK YOU.

Stu - 06/25/00 20:14:42

Comments:
Your life is almost identical to mine. I went over the edge at the end of my university course, at the same age. My work life is the difference - I have a crap job, and my depression and social phobia has kept me back. My romantic life has been next to nonexistent and I live for regular paid for sex, which I hate to do but can't stop. But I am begining to improve and have hope that with the right cognitve therapy I can have a normal life with a relationship and I will be able to speak to people and make friends and have a life.

Jim - 06/25/00 03:58:07

Comments:
Thank you for having the courage to share your story. I recently realized that I've probably been suffering from depression and social phobia for a very long time now. I came very close to harming myself, not knowing why. After reading your testimonies I found I had many of the same feelings, and that I probably wasn't alone after all. I recently started therapy and I admit I'm afraid - I know I have a long a way to go. My problems differ a little - I'm a sexual compulsive, but I've also been known to overeat as well. I wish you well, thanks again...

Jeff - 05/11/00 21:46:36

Comments:
Thanks for sharing your stories. I think you're helping many people, including myself, who can relate to your social phobia, depression, and feelings of isolation, and fear of rejection. I think therapy (with someone you trust and can relate to), medication, forgiveness and faith are all important to the healing process. You're a very brave person. Keep up the good work, Jeff

Belinda - 05/05/00 02:52:30

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I agree with everything positive anyone has ever written about you and your site.

shronda - 04/16/00 21:08:56

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I'm a twenty year old college student who has had to face depression all my life. Both my brother and I have attempted suicide. My mother was diagnosed with depression when I was a kid and my grandmother has been institutionalized. Depression has been such a large part of my life that I'm scared that it will always be. I'm afraid to have children for fear that they too will suffer from this disease. At this present time I'm on meds to keep me from falling over the edge. I thank you for this site because I felt that my family and I were freaks of nature and cursed. I now know that there are millions of people who suffer from this and I know that I'm not alone. Thank you.

Lana Lila - 04/15/00 19:29:07

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I think this is a beautiful thing you're doing. I'm a psychology major and this is a very important avenue of relief for many people. You should be very proud of your accomplishments. sincerely, Lana Lila

Deb - 04/02/00 05:38:02

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I think that your site is great. I have been suffering from depression for years and have tried to take my own life so many times. But I have learned to deal with it in the past few years, but my problem now is my daughter is doing the same things I did and showing all signs and I don't know how to handle it.

Ronni - 03/30/00 17:21:29

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This is some of the most honest stuff I've ever read. This is beautiful. It's tragic and painful to read but the courage here is incredible. You're a hero in my book.

Amanda - 03/22/00 03:50:15

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I understand the struggles that go along with depression and am thankful for sites like yours

Diana - 03/17/00 01:03:14

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I'm 19 and I've been severely depressed for as long as I can remember. My mom has it too, so that is some of the reason. But anyway, reading your site helped me by simply knowing that I'm not the only one. The way you described some things is exactly how I feel. Thank you. I don't know if I'll ever get better. I've almost become used to it. I don't really hang out with any of my friends anymore, and ever since my sister moved back home I've been attached to her computer. I'm sinking into a hole, but sadly enough, this hole is like my home now. And it's miserable. My head feels like it's gonna burst sometimes. But I'm just trudging on day to day. I hope you get better, because I don't think I am.

MaryMc - 03/15/00 03:13:35

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What a courageous web site! Thank you for sharing. MaryMc

VaNaTi17 - 03/15/00 02:48:00

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This is something that has touched me, I suffer from depression that everyone belives is a "phase". I've tried to kill myself 3 times, once by overdosing on pain killers, once with a knife, and once walking across the road praying a car would hit me. I woke up the next morning thinking "why the hell am I still here?" The phases would go from being impossible to bear when I would cry for no reason, be very short tempered, and have much hatred for my father who is a recovered alcoholic, to putting on the fake smile so no one would know... thanks for writing your experiences down, it's helped me to see, I'm not the only one out there!!!!! God bless you.

Anonymous - 03/08/00 02:38:12

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I love the site, great layout and information. I tend to visit drdrew.com when I'm feeling down...you can talk to all sorts of people, it makes you feel a lot better.

Ashley E. - 02/22/00 16:05:39

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I recently have been going through this and your web site has helped me to understand more of what I'm going through. The way you described things in the knife twisting inside I really thought it was me writing. Thanks!

Joyce - 02/15/00 16:06:42

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This is all new to me, you have really expressed topics that have been wanting to get more information on. Well done. Thanx

p.j.martin - 02/08/00 19:58:27

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K.m.K. - 02/08/00 00:37:12

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I must say your site has moved me. I thank you for your honesty, and above all your courage. Rarely do I find a site that mirrors my own feelings...and situation. Because the truth is, you're not alone, physically maybe, but there is always someone out there who is on a parallel path with you who is aching to be found as well. {my site}

ujamamute@yahoo.com - 02/03/00 17:28:52

Comments:
get in there....look even her mum likes you b4 you have even met her.......and when you realise that human cures don't work on the soul Jesus would always love to know about it all..regards tom

tinamayette@aol.com - 01/22/00 17:33:35

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I have not read your letters yet, but I was wondering if there is a chat site you could refer me to that I can express my agony.

Rev. Johannes Erich Myors - 01/22/00 15:31:13

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Shalom from a fellow member of the Help Stop the Tears WebRing at "http://www.geocities.com/pprayers". I just wanted to stop by and say hello, wish you a happy new year, and drop off a prayer or two in hopes that this year will be more effective and productive for you than last year. Thank you for helping keep children safe. Take care in Y'shua.

ALF - 01/12/00 11:06:00

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As a present victim of this disease I would like to see a few more positives in your feedbacks as this is my only strength.

heather (zerogrrrrl@aol.com) - 01/10/00 05:38:40

Comments:
Hello. My name's Heather and I'm 17. I can relate to much of what you have been through. I have some books you should read. Although they are about females, I think you will be able to relate. She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb is about a girl who is depressed and over weight. The Trick is to Keep Breathing by Janice Galloway is about depression. Anyhoo, I keep a journal (I have depression too) and it really helps to read other people's accounts of depression to know that you're not alone.

Tina Mayette Baker - 01/06/00 19:17:58

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I have signed my daughter's name. Suffers from severe depression. Her email address is tinamayette@aol.com...Similar stories..My heart aches for you both..drop her a line.You have walked in her shoes..I know..I am close to her but worry a lot about her.. She is a sweet person....Carol (vaquero193@aol.com)

poetbates@netscape.net - 01/06/00 08:20:07

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Haven't read it all but enough to know you were premature in quitting the steps. Our paths to depression are very similar. There is a reason why you have to work them in order. You can't forgive anyone till you first forgive yourself. Do those steps and you will learn what your part is. You don't have to apologize for the wrong others have done you, only for the wrong you have done others.

Lily - 12/28/99 00:53:26

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I was browsing a health web ring and selected your site because I have been feeling depressed in the last couple of years. I want to support you in your search for yourself. You have been trying so many ways! I have heard both successes and failures about antidepressant medications. I have a gut-level distrust of these as well as other medicines. I wish you well.

Meagan - 12/12/99 02:55:50

Comments:
Your name means King..stands for God of battle, you have had your battle now..time to celebrate your victory, you are now helping others with their battles..and some of us benefit by your help a lot more than others. Look at where you were and how far up you are now..to be the one to "help" instead of "helped" is a great achievement and mark of true progress..I hope some day someone very special in my life can look back like you can now..and say I was there but now I am here..to help..thanks for all the work you do..Hugs..M

Ryan - 11/28/99 09:57:50

Comments:
Thank you sooo incredibly much for your site. It is helping me as well as my girlfriend. She is always depressed and telling me that she has no friends, and thanks to your website, she's willing to hear more about clinical depression. Thank you. I would a preciate it if you would e-mail me at zeroproof@usa.net. Thank you again

Tee - 11/21/99 02:15:30

Comments:
Excellent, in your insights, your awareness of your feelings, in recounting your endless struggle, in your attempt to recover yourself from the trauma of childhood abuse. You refuse to give it all up to the abuser, and for that I applaud you. It's a painful, difficult fight, but I know it can be won and I sense you are someone who will win. Keep fighting the good fight.

Amanda - 11/13/99 02:21:18

Comments:
oops...I meant essays..."stories" implies fiction doesn't it? :)

Amanda - 11/13/99 02:19:43

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Hi, wow, the traffic really has picked up! Keep up the good work...and add some more stories...

Dave 11/12/99 - 11/12/99 05:58:57

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I think your site is really great. Before I read some of the things you wrote I felt completely alone. I didn't know there were other people who felt the same way. I suffer from depression and social phobia so I really understand how you feel. I think this site will help a lot of people.

Dan Sydes - 11/08/99 10:06:34

Comments:
A very frank web site, it is all right but a bit plain. Actually I came here from Jarvissa's web site, she is my friend and isn't actually like she makes out but never mind eh! Please visit my site

Jarvissa - 11/06/99 00:12:04

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I empathise more than you'll probably ever know.. and I hope your struggle fades but that you don't have to fade with it.. I want us to be friends.. My site

LRDSLN@aol.com - 11/03/99 01:36:07

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I have only begun to read some of your writings and now the tears are begining to flow. There are many things here I know all too well. I know the loneliness, the desperation, the utter pain of living with my tourtured thoughts and feelings every day. Good luck to you, may you find peace and happiness, for I can no longer see a way out for me. I am too mentally and emotionally exhausted to try anymore. Your site will surely help others though,I commend you for creating it.

Lies - 11/02/99 16:48:22

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I think your sharing this with all the world to see is one of your most wonderful gifts to us..not all of us can be as unselfish as you to share and show the pain you have had, I am sorry to you, for all of it..anyone who comments negatively, has not experienced, so file them under G..for garbage, my heart is with you!! Thanks.

Rebecca - 10/31/99 00:31:19

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Wonderfully written words, well-styled format

Winifred McCarty - 10/30/99 14:10:57

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I understand your pain and social phobia. I've learned through the 12 steps how to love and live. I hope things are going well for you now. Remember it's a spiritual process.

Shay - 10/30/99 03:05:02

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I understand your pain, your fears, and every other emotion that you may be feeling.

Judy - 10/24/99 05:19:16

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I have been in therapy for depression for some time.(now down to only twice a year) I may be in therapy for many more years and am willing to admit that I may need therapy again. I do know that you need to give a psychologist a chance. Hopping from one therapist to another will never do you any good. Learn the history of the twelve steps. If you honestly went through them and truly wanted help, you would have come to realize that they were never meant as a cure-all. They really help you come face to face with yourself if given a chance to work even if you cannot see the validity of all of them.

I was, as you are, a functioning depressant. I married a wonderful (though not perfect) man, had a couple of children, worked every day, kept my home and completed college. My depression began in childhood also. I became the fixer, the perfectionist, the self-appointed dumping ground for the problems of all those I came into contact with. I learned through my therapy that I was just full of perfectionist/phobia-type behavior that was destroying my happiness.

You do not seem to be able to put aside blame and that is very disturbing. Until you put aside the blame of your childhood/adolesence/parents divoce just to mention a few you will never get on the road to recovery. Those new drugs when used in conjunction with psychiatry will work. I am living proof. I do not think I was ever really happy in my life until through therapy/anti-depressant drug therapy I was able to realize that my demons,though not entirely, were mostly of my own making. It sometimes helps to learn to be truly thankful for those things that you are and have been blessed with rather than to dwell on that perfect wish-list that you are coveting. Go to one good psychologist and stick to therapy. It is not easy; but nothing in life worth anything is easy. Learn, as a young person, to listen to those older and wiser(?) not that older makes you wiser but it should. I was lucky to be exposed to religion (one of the phobias I did not develop) as a youngster, though I really never became a fanatic, it was my faith, though I never considered myself overly religious, that was the final factor in making me whole again.

God Bless You - Hang in there.

Cindy - 10/18/99 17:54:45

Comments:
I have some of the same problems. I'm now 23 and am still going to counselling and trying to overcome my social phobia and depression. I am improving slowly but surely. You are a very strong person. I very much look up to you. Thank you.

Christine - 10/16/99 21:32:08

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I have just read a few of the articles previously written by you and I feel moved to say that I have rarely been so touched by anything in my life before. Some of the feelings you describe are exactly how I feel right now and my heart goes out to you. Is there any end to it?

Casey Reed - 10/04/99 20:57:24

Comments:
I like this site because I have been in your shoes. I also have been through the deep valleys and felt the loneliness and hopelessness. But there is one who can give you endless hope and will never leave you if you believe in Him. Find Him and you will find that peace and hope. I guarantee it.

Frank Lovelady - 10/03/99 18:11:39

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Typed in "depression" and came up with your site. Haven't read much yet. Look forward to reading more. Am suffering myself right now. Thanks.

gretchen(goddess1078@aol.com - 10/03/99 00:23:48

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I know exactly what you went through, for some reason I am going through the same thing. And reading your page helped give me a little help to try to get through these things...I am trying to be stronger than I have been in the past, although I don't know how well it will work..I wish to thank you for setting up this site, so we have somewhere to turn, and know that we are not alone, even thought at times, like now, we often feel that we are!

Jill - 09/30/99 23:48:22

Comments:
Thank you very much for sharing your story. I haven't read it all yet but want to say how important it is for you and for others who feel the same way to express themselves. Manic depression runs in my family and it is so destructive, if a person has no safety net. No one who can offer professional help and not make fun of them or discount their feelings. Someone who cares and can guide them to the proper treatment. Taking Omega3 oils, like flaxseed oil, can prevent a reoccurance of a manic episode. 5-HTP is very important to help achieve the proper serotonin levels in the brain. Take a good B complex. Have an outlet for your creativity. Have someone to talk to when depressed. Get reflexology, it grounds you back in your body. I have to go now. Take care. Jill

Maria - 09/27/99 23:58:43

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I read most of your posts, and I am not going to lie, but to say that you have had the worst life. You have not deserved this, and I wish you all the happiness in the after life. It is not fair how people have to put up with all of this pain. Please forgive me for saying if you had heard it many times before: You are not to blame for anyone else but you, and you seem like a very strong person. You have survived this long, and hopefully you will find a way out of this madness. Love, Maria

Marci - 09/22/99 04:24:04

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I don't understand. There are people that really need help, you however were never one of them. You had a down time in your life. Anyone that publicizes depression is obviously desperate for attention. It's a fake.. and what others have said in response is also a fake. Misery loves company.. but not if they can't see or feel the other person beside them.

Heidi - 08/24/99 03:51:04

Comments:
Your stories are so good. I hope things get better for you. I feel for you about depression.

David - 05/08/99 17:52:14

Comments:
...about the girls: you're right - and don't think it's a question of beauty. I myself work as a model, so beauty can't be the problem. The problem is that old biological process - girls don't need to hunt guys - they just choose the strongest "fighter" they find. nowadays, this means you have to be very rich and drive a Porsche....as soon as you got this, they'll jump into your bed - but it won't make you happy because you'll still be looking for this "very special one" that doesn't care about money and cars....I don't know if she's born already - but I'll tell you as soon as I find her! your spiritual friend David (mondmilch@gmx.ch)

Kasey Holmstrom - 03/09/99 22:26:00

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What's up??

Timpani McGeller - 03/09/99 22:23:20

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Do you know of any other websites I can look under for depression?

Louise Fortunata - 02/24/99 22:37:47

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I was touched by your story. I have struggled with my weight for the past fifteen years and empathize with you. May I make a suggestion? I now believe that people who have battled their weight for years (as opposed to the normal and low weight people who put on a few pounds) will never lose weight and keep it off -- UNLESS they drop all grain and sugar based carbohydrates completely. The low fat craze is a bust: starches make you fat, not protein, not even fatty meat. If you kick the starches the way an alcoholic kicks booze (i.e., 100%), you will lose the weight.

But even if you choose not to make the sacrifices (Starches) you must in order to lose weight, you will still be beautiful in God's eyes and He will never abandon you. I pray that the suffering of fat people on earth will be assuaged by the knowledge that God loves us, no matter how much we weigh. Keep the faith.

Jesse Granat - 12/09/98 21:16:41

Comments:
I am so glad to find someone else who feels like I do, all the time. I also made the observation that getting to know a girl firsthand before trying anything romantic backfires totally. You hear that they want to know the guy before anything, but that has turned out to be bull. Thanks for displaying your website. Sincerely, Jesse 20 and male.

Amanda - 10/16/98 18:48:50

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Hi, it's me, goofing off again. When are you going to add some more writings to this site? Feel free to use any of the messages you've sent me...

Bad Bunny - 10/08/98 15:08:32

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Just surfing. Thanks. Visit Me

Kristine - 07/06/98 19:25:21

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Thank you for sharing yourself with the world. I do not think I could be so bold. I suffer from social phobia and feel your pain. I am writing a report about this condition for school and hope to educate others of this condition. bye...

ROBYN - 06/26/98 04:14:22

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I can relate to you where the weight is concerned. I'm also 50 lbs overweight and would like to e mail others with a weight problem R Clark 7@aol.com

Jenni - 06/17/98 22:09:07

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Hello! I think your writing is absolutely beautiful! I have many of the same fears and problems that you do. I suffer from depression, an eating disorder, anxiety, PTSD, and slight agoraphobia (which is getting worse as the days pass). Come and visit me sometime...like I said, we have a lot in common! Inside My Head

Mel - 05/29/98 21:32:00

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Your writing is witty, intelligent, yet disturbing. I find it hard to believe that you would waste such a talent by writing about how miserable you are, sounds like you love living in your misery. I think you are a social phobic, because you want to be. You don't love yourself, how can you expect people to find your negativity attractive. Fat has nothing to do with it. Please know that loving yourself is the key. You are worth it. Find something positive about yourself and nurture it, you are an extraordinary writer, start with that.

Jupiter - 05/17/98 02:57:59

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Hey Bud, remember me? Well you probably don't because we've lost contact. I just hope your life is looking better. You deserve the best. Take care of yourself. Bi bi. LN

DON S. Of CT - 05/12/98 05:06:12

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I'm depressed, too. I can really relate to your struggle. Even with a maximum dose of Zoloft in me every day (200 milligrams), life right now is just putting one foot after another after another. Every day. I don't know how I do it. I don't know WHY I do it. Because the alternative is Death, I guess. But if I didn't believe in God, and fear divine retribution for committing suicide, I think I'd be dead right now. Score One Brownie Point for the fundamentalists: their fear mongering has probably kept me alive. Of course, you'll have to weigh that Brownie Point against their Demerits for hatred and intolerance. "Faith, hope and love," says Saint Paul. "These three abide." What happens when you have to keep going on hope and love alone??

Madeira - 04/09/98 15:06:23

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I am a bulimic and have been for 3 years. I have been hospitalized. But now I would like to help others.

Pat - 01/11/98 18:34:26

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Dear "Mark" I think your web page is just like you - Wonderful. I hope to revisit when I have time to begin reading everything.

PS! I forgot - 01/10/98 14:51:41

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Visit The Black Hole at www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Spa/1678

Linda - 01/10/98 14:49:51

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I haven't gotten through all of your site, but it's so honest. I'm often afraid to be that honest. There are soooo many people in this world who don't understand. It's difficult when they haven't been through it, but even more so when you're trying you damnedest to reach out and nobody reaches back. Good luck with this page, and keep up the good work.

Debbie Mathews - 12/27/97 18:12:25

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WOW...you outdid yourself! And I thought your other Website was tremendous; this is brilliant! Have you formally published any of your writing pieces contained herein? Not only was I moved deeply, but think it could help others in despair...don't you? --DocSunz

Debby - 12/23/97 03:51:51

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Thank you for your page. I have found some new information here and I will return to see what you have added. Merry Christmas.

Davy - 12/15/97 11:40:17

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I can relate; I am impressed; I wish you the best!

Kim - 12/15/97 04:13:39

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I love it!! I can relate to everything you say!!

Amanda - 12/15/97 01:13:56

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What I have specifically to say about these topics is better reserved for our own correspondence. But your writing is beautifully expressive, I'm jealous of it. It's very brave of you to make a public statement of such personal issues.

eyl - 12/13/97 01:52:27

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